Monday, April 30, 2007

Chinese Astrology Strikes Again

Carrot = Fire Snake


Diplomatic and popular, the Snake has the sensual art of seduction down. This Sign is an interesting mix of gregariousness paired with introversion, intuitive reasoning paired with savvy business skills. Snakes are considered to be lucky with money and will generally have more than enough to live life to the fullest, regardless of how important it considers money to be; this may be due to the fact that Snakes tend to be rather tight with cash. They're not stingy, they're simply more mentally than physically active. Snakes tend to hang back a bit in order to analyze a situation before jumping into it. Their charming, seductive quality actually belies a rather retiring nature; this Sign is perfectly happy to spend the whole day curled up with a good book and, thus, can be mislabeled as being lazy.

The Snake is somewhat insecure deep down and tend to be a rather jealous, possessive lover, behavior that can end up alienating loved ones. Despite these less-than-stellar tendencies, however, the Snake often proves irresistible and is a generous, loving partner. Slightly dangerous and disarmingly smart, the Snake's philosophical and intuitive mind generally supersedes logic in favor of feelings and instinct. Snakes will rely on their own gut reactions and intuitions before turning to others for suggestions. This makes this Sign a great hand in any business venture, possessing the caution and smarts needed to get ahead.

Snakes are hard workers (when they see good reason to be!) and are possessed of a keen intelligence. Snakes have incredible follow-through, once they get going, and they expect the same from others. Thus, their coworkers and employees had best stay on their toes, lest they anger the Snake and suffer its poisonous bite!

In general, of course, Snakes are generous and genteel, charming and appealing. Snakes must try to learn humility and to develop a stronger sense of self. Once Snakes realize that confidence comes from within, they will finally be comfortable in their own skin.

To all those Carrot-lovers out there... uncanny, no?

Brindy's Bdidder Report

The bdidder went off without a hitch. Me madre threw a grand 'que in my honor, including grilled pineapple and a handmade shop class present from my brother. Then it was off to my house to get ready for the evening. Minor escorted me to the Bow whilest we waited for Darkness to get the keg. Many friends joined the celebration as we misbehaved with beer, fire and sarcasm, the things nearest and dearest to my heart. Hopefully, I will get to post some pics of that soon. I wish that Darkness read this blog so I could have a crazy post in honor of him. He did everything he could to make my day special, and no one besides my mommy has ever done that for me. So, sorry there aren't any crazy stories to tell, at least Fire Pig didn't get the best of me! And thanks to Darkness's g-friend EM-word for spilling beer on my head as the festivities concluded... Beer shower is always noice!

BTW, the pic goes along with the pathetic look of Brindy on Sunday morn, poor Brindy's head.

Sunday, April 29, 2007


The Darkness as in:?


If you don't
get it click HERE

Brindy's Diddums Ya'll

Hope you had a wodnerful diddums weekend Brindyface! I just thought this graphic was cute, let us have a contest to decide what the T.M.I. should stand for! My vote is for:
Yes? No? Fine, you come up with something better!

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Friday, April 27, 2007

Post 'Stal Report - Good Times

The night could not have went better. It was without injury or any particular event worth mentioning. It was simply a nice evening with me madre and my good friends, The Darkness and Minor. Darkness kept my mama company with his addictive charm and conversation. Minor and I misbehaved as usual. We concluded the evening with stiffies from the 'Bow and just as I was about to be abandoned, my Furstenfeld look-a-like was perched at the end of the bar all by his lonesome. He might as well had a big red bow on his head, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to ME!
So, the plans for my actual bdiddy are quite suprising. I had imagined a night of wondering from place to place up and down MT Ave until I passed out or broke my leg or something. Alas Darkness, because he just can't help but be the coolest mawrucka I eva knew, has volunteered to throw a kegger/house party in my honor. That is exactly what I wanted last year and I asked for it a month or two in advance and he bailed on me at the last minute. Sad I know. But this year, it was all his idea and I am going to have the best of times, sans Danno. I wish there was going to be some Miller Time, but I will have a beer with cheers as I recollect our fondest memories of BGO. Heres to wishing I might make it through the event in tact, Fire Pig, you're not invited!

Thursday, April 26, 2007

French Celebrity Quotation

How can you govern a nation that has two hundred and forty different kinds of cheese? -Charles de Gaulle


Know Your State Mottos

Alabama - Hell, Yes, We Have Electricity.
Alaska - 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
Arizona - Yes, But It's A Dry Heat.
Arkansas - Literacy Ain't Everythang.
California - By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda.
Colorado - If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother.
Connecticut - Like Massachusetts , only smaller.
Delaware - We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water.
Florida - Ask Us About Our Grand kids And Our Voting Skills.
Georgia - We Put The Fun In Fundamentalist Extremism.
Hawaii - Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, Leave Your Money)
Idaho - More Than Just Potatoes. Well, Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
Illinois - Please, Don't Pronounce the "S"
Indiana - 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa - We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Kansas - First Of The Rectangle States
Kentucky - Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
Louisiana - We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign.
Maine - We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
Maryland - If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It
Massachusetts - Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's And Our Senators Are More Corrupt
Michigan - First Line Of Defense From The Canadians
Minnesota - 10,000 Lakes... And 10 Zillion Mosquitoes
Mississippi - Come visit And Feel Better About Your Own State
Missouri - Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work
Montana - Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing
Crazies, and Honest
Nebraska - Ask About Our State Motto Contest
Nevada - Hookers and Poker!
New Hampshire - Go Away And Leave Us Alone
New Jersey - You Want A ##$%##! Motto?I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right here!
New Mexico - Lizards Make Excellent Pets
New York - You Have The Right To Remain Silent,You Have The Right To An Attorney And No Right To Self Defense!
North Carolina - Tobacco Is A Vegetable
North Dakota - We Really Are One Of The 50 States!
Ohio - At Least We're Not Michigan
Oklahoma - Like The Play, But No Singing
Oregon - Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner
Pennsylvania - Cook With Coal
Rhode Island - We're Not REALLY An Island
South Carolina - Remember The Civil War?Well, We Didn't Actually Surrender, Yet!
South Dakota - Closer Than North Dakota
Tennessee - Home of the Al Gore Invention Museum
Texas - Se Hable Ingles
Utah - Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
Vermont - Too liberal for the Kennedys
Virginia - Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
Washington - Our Governor can out-fraud your Governor!
West Virginia - One Big Happy Family...Really!
Wisconsin - Come Cut the Cheese!
Wyoming - Home of Brokeback Mountain
The District of Columbia - The Work-Free Drug Place

Bring It

Well, as the Metal Monkey, I have hurt myself pretty good approximately every two weeks since the beginning of the year. I recently looked up my Chinese horoscope and it explained it all to me:
Monkey Health
"It is in this area where you could have the most problems this year. You are susceptible to illness and especially accidents. The combination of Fire and Metal is conducive to injuries."
So, I thought I would give a rundown of the injuries in order.
1. Big ol scrape from Z's deep dark basement when we came back from the Carino wedding all sauced up and I had to help him down the stairs.
2. Steam burn on my wrist from cooking broccoli, it left my skin looking like an aligator's for about a month.
3. I stumbled on the long walk home from a night of dice and debauchery and hurt my ankle REAL BAD. Prolly should have gone to the doc, but I just walked like an old lady for a month or so.
4. Tripped on the living room rug and slammed my head on a table, got a nice bruise on my arm.
5. Slipped on the floor at the fake Sublime concert at the 'Yard and my knee got hurt from my leg bending the wrong way. Now, I can barely walk at all.
6. Tripped on the living room rug again got some rug burns on my knees. AND... I have bruises all over my legs and arms that I have no recollection of acquiring.
7. Slipped in the shower and fell backwards, landed in between the tub and the stool, should have a nice bruise on my back, haven't had a chance to look yet.
So, if this is what has happened thus far, what is in store for the remainder of the year? Just something I have pondered recently as I poke and squish the blue, green, purple and yellow spots on my appendages. Stoopid Fire Pig!!

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Hot Sexy Monk

Monkeys don't get much sexier than this. Hopefully I can be as alluring as this in the late hours of celebration, ow! The count down is as follows: Rock-out-with-my-cake-out tomorrow for me madre and party-on-Garth Saturday, for my actual day. Oh, the horror of getting through this Wednesday... gah, especially when my blog counterparts are no where to be found.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Sock Monkey Dress - Must be mine!

How is it that I just found this luxury item? At $1500, I think I might have to wait for one of my beezles to buy it FOR me for my bdidder, but wouldn't it be grand to sport it as I celebrate? Just a little reminder that there are people out there crazier than me.

Monday, April 23, 2007

It's sum mumkee's bdidder

In honor of my own 27th bdiddy, creeping up here in 5 days, I will make a grand effort to submit my favorite monkey art as I count down.
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(Monkey is my animal counterpart according to the timelyness of my birth, Metal Monkey if you're hardcore) Here is the premier monkey, definitely a great expression about how I feel about this Monday. Just in case you are wondering... plans for the bdidder include kickin it with me madre at the 'Stal on Thursday, as that is her bdiddy, drinking booze, and hopefully laughing my ass off. Other events will surface, I am sure, I will keep everyone up to date and perhaps have some unsanitary comments in the aftermath. Cheers.

Friday, April 20, 2007

I'm bringin sexy bayuck

Hey folks, I am back for a little note to Carrot for being super assum queen of VIOH and a bit excessive with the OCD, but none the less a rock star for pimpin' our blog. I am sorry for abandoning her for so long. That goes out to the Millers and all our fans in China.
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On a more personal note... Here is a little hottie for ya'll, He is Justin Furstenfeld from Blue October he looks a little like a boy I know. I might ask him to start wearing eye liner to get the full effect. Rrrarrr.
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Welcome to the new VIOH

It's official! The VIOH has finally moved to the new Blogger template! Not only do we have a brand spankin' new look, but soon our archived posts will be labeled for your surfing pleasure. Feel free to let us know what you think!

Thursday, April 19, 2007

CelebWITty Quote

Arnold Schwarzenegger
: Gay marriage should be between a man and a woman.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

BArt for the new century

Let's call him BOAZZ

Monday, April 16, 2007

Friday, April 13, 2007

Easter Kitty Uprising

(slightly belated... HANDY beware!)

Hey, Charrrrlie

A Brindy Contribution...

Wednesday, April 11, 2007


Who's working anyway?

The population of this country is 300 million.

160 million are retired.

That leaves 140 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school.

Which leaves 55 million to do the work.

Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.

Leaving 15 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces.

Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.

Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city

And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.

Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me.

And there you are,
Sitting at your computer, reading jokes.

Nice. Real nice.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

BT Reunion!!!

Lost dog reunited with family after four years

Seen on the Today Show

Friday, April 06, 2007

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter!

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Carrot's Movie Quote Hall of Fame

Ace Ventura: [as Captain Kirk] Captain's Log, stardate 23.9, rounded off to the... nearest decimal point. We've... traveled back in time to save an ancient species from... total annihilation. SO FAR... no... signs of aquatic life, but I'm going to find it. If I have to tear this universe another black hole, I'm going to find it. I've... GOT TO, MISTER.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)

Overheard in the Office

A new name for what Carrot does on a daily basis...

Tech #1
: Have you read the email from the project managers?

Tech #2: Yes, I have. Would you like to create the reply?
Tech #1: Are you asking me to flush out the stupid?

Tuesday, April 03, 2007



New twist, old song

Monday, April 02, 2007