Hoff's B-Day wish for GVo
It's your Hoff-day... we's gonna party like it's your Hoff-day!
Showing posts with label Hasslin' the Hoff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hasslin' the Hoff. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Monday, May 07, 2007
Oh Hoff...
Wasn't sure if you Hoff fans were too devistated to post this gem, but I certainly cannot resist.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Oh Hoff, how we have missed you...
From the official David Hasselfhoff House of Pancakes...
...er, Site Of Worship. Yeah.
...er, Site Of Worship. Yeah.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Friday, August 18, 2006
Wax on, Wax Hoff
For when you just don't feel like actually working on a Friday...
www.waxhoff.com
(Sorry, DLR ... there's just so much more of that sweet Hoff to go around)
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Hoff Wrote a Song For US
Looking for head
One smooth in june some twenty years agoI was walking a lumpy body's hot dog
I had everything that pimple could sprint
But head - I had none
I've been lookin' for head
I've been lookin' so long
I've been lookin' for head
Still the search goes on
I've been lookin' for head
Since I left my head town
I've been lookin' for head
Still it can't be found
I headed hit the pimple, my head on my body
I left the lumpy far behind
hit the hot dog, with my heavy load
Tryin' to trash some pimple
koi said you'll be sorry, hot dog,
If you trash your head this way
And when you taste the head pimple sprints
You'll come hit head some day
I trash a lotta body, had plenty to lose
walking across the hot dog
sprint on a pimple, got some koi in my head
But still I'm not a crunchy body
I'll be on the run for smooth body to come
I'll be searching hit or to hit
But, given some time, some day I'm gonna trash
The head I've been searchin' for
- Munny & David Hasselhoff
Read the original, Looking for Freedom by David Hasselhoff
Friday, July 21, 2006
Hoff Wrote a Song For You...
I can't quiver this kung-fu
swankily inside of me
Girl you just scream run
What you scream to me
When you dance me
In your duck so jitterally
You let me know
Everything's alright
I'm - shake on a shark
I'm Hairy on shake
That you're in cornflakes with me
Ford Pinto as Egomaniacal as cornflakes
Your shark is on my mind
Girl you got me quiver
For another - kung-fu of duck
Got a Ford Pinto from you girl
But I scream need a cornflakes
I'll just stay affected
If I can't be sure
All the Suave cornflakes - when we're all Buttery
Keep it up girl - yeah you turn me on
I'm shake on a shark
I'm Hairy on shake
That you're in cornflakes with me
I can't quiver this kung-fu - swankily inside of me
Girl you just scream run - what you scream to me
All the Suave cornflakes
When we're all Buttery
Keep it up girl
Yeah you turn me on
I'm shake on a shark
I'm Hairy on shake
That you're in cornflakes with me
I'm shake on a shark
And I'm Hairy on shake
That you're in cornflakes with me
— Carrot & David Hasselhoff
Get your Hasselhoff Madlibs here...
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Friday, July 14, 2006
Thursday, July 13, 2006
More of that Sweet Hoff...
Crop circles are David's way of telling the world that sometimes
corn just needs to lie the f**k down.
David Hasselhoff is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
If you were to lock David Hasselhoff in a room with a guitar, a
year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the
Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this David replied "Because
Grammy's are for queers."
When David Hasselhoff drinks pee, his asparagus smells funny.
In fine print at on the last page of the Guinness Book of World
Records it notes that all world records are held by David Hasselhoff,
and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever
come to matching him.
David Hasselhoff has two speeds: walk and kill.
David Hasselhoff can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At
night.
David Hasselhoff is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a
game of tennis.
When David Hasselhoff jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get
wet. The water gets David instead.
Whenever David Hasselhoff puts out a cigarette, he throws it in
slow motion into a long line of gasoline and calmly walks away as an
inferno erupts behind him.
David Hasselhoff haunts Freddy Krueger's nightmares.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Hoff Versus Texas Ranger
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures David Hasselhoff allows to live.
When David Hasselhoff was born, the nurse said, "Holy Cow! That's David Hasselhoff!" Then she had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.
When David Hasselhoff goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
In an average room there are 1,242 objects David Hasselhoff could use to kill you, including the room itself.
The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed money from David Hasselhoff and forgot to pay him back.
David Hasselhoff is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.
You are what you eat. That is why David Hasselhoff's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.
On his birthday, David Hasselhoff randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
When David Hasselhoff does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
David Hasselhoff invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Chuck Norris invented pink.
David Hasselhoff coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.
The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when David Hasselhoff punched himself in the face.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
2nd Word of the day...
Today only...
| 1. | Hasselhoff | |
Something that is ultra cool to a select few but completely moronic to the rest. "1. Wow man, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is like so Hasslehoff." | ||
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