Feliz Cinco De Mayo, Zanganos

El Zángano es el macho de la abeja reina;
carece de aguijón y no labra miel.
Por lo tanto en terminos humanos,
se le dice Zángano al holgazán,
el que no hace nada y lo mantienen.

My kind of Fairy Tale

Once upon a time in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: " Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince,until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however,and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals,clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so. "

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in a and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself:

I don't freakin think so.

Serious Delerium -or- Sewius Daleweim

The best 7:24 EVER.

GOTD

A special Gif of the Day for those of us
who just need a break from the routine:

TGIF with Pacman!

Down with S P E C

The more you ask of me the less I have to give.
Used.
Unappreciated.
Angry.
Sad.
Drifting slowly into insanity as I try to comprehend what might be going through your mind. Oh wait, there is nothing happening there. Boo.

Word of the day...

1.	great googly-moogly
	interjection, similar to "great Caesar's ghost" and "jumpin' Jehosaphat," this nonsense phrase can be heard in the song "Goin' Down Slow" by Howlin Wolf, and in Frank Zappa's song "Don't Eat The Yellow Snow." "Great googly-moogly, is that an elephant?" www.urbandictionary.com

Cheesy Talk

Not to be confused with cheese and chalk.

I think the obscurity of this conversation is premaced by the fact that Thursday is the new Friday. That is my only explaination.

Mother of all BArt

Come to the Dark Side. We have cookies...

Farting Preacher 5

If you don't think this is hilarious, you shouldn't be chillin at this blog. That's funny right der, don't care who ya are.



Farting Preacher
Farting Preacher 2
Farting Preacher 3?
Farting Preacher 4

Blast from the past

For some reason I have the theme music for this game running through my head at the moment.I don't even know why cuz I was too young to get the chance to play when my older siblings were obsessed with TB. What am I saying? It wasn't just my older siblings, it was my parents that wouldn't give up the controls either! Nevertheless, the doop doop dit dits are repeating themselves over and over up there, and I know they are now in Carrot's noggin too just at the mention of the game! You're welcome...

VIOH is global, baby

[click to view larger image]

Another Doozie

Britney Spears:
You know how people say *NSYNC copied Backstreet? Well, Backstreet copied the Beatles.

A moment of silence for George, please

[Photo not actually of George]

Tiny Terrier Dies After Saving 5 Kids
Tiny Terrier Saves 5 New Zealand Children From Pitbull Attack, But Suffers Fatal Injuries

WELLINGTON, New Zealand, May. 2, 2007
(AP) A plucky foot-high Jack Russell terrier named George saved five New Zealand children from two marauding pitbulls, but was so severely mauled in the fight he had to be destroyed, his owner said Wednesday.

George was playing with the group of children as they returned home from buying sweets at a neighborhood shop in the small North Island town of Manaia last Sunday when the two pitbulls appeared and lunged toward them, his owner Allan Gay said.

"George was brave - he took them on and he's not even a foot high," Gay told The Associated Press. "He jumped in on them, he tried to keep them off.

"If it wasn't for George, those kids would have copped it."

Read the full story here...

For the Girls

Ode to Carrot

Munny's pet retreat

For Brindy

A W E S O M E

Only slightly cooler than this...



You just kick my ass ISHKUR

Chinese Astrology Strikes Again

Carrot = Fire Snake

chinese.astrology.com

SNAKE

Diplomatic and popular, the Snake has the sensual art of seduction down. This Sign is an interesting mix of gregariousness paired with introversion, intuitive reasoning paired with savvy business skills. Snakes are considered to be lucky with money and will generally have more than enough to live life to the fullest, regardless of how important it considers money to be; this may be due to the fact that Snakes tend to be rather tight with cash. They're not stingy, they're simply more mentally than physically active. Snakes tend to hang back a bit in order to analyze a situation before jumping into it. Their charming, seductive quality actually belies a rather retiring nature; this Sign is perfectly happy to spend the whole day curled up with a good book and, thus, can be mislabeled as being lazy.

The Snake is somewhat insecure deep down and tend to be a rather jealous, possessive lover, behavior that can end up alienating loved ones. Despite these less-than-stellar tendencies, however, the Snake often proves irresistible and is a generous, loving partner. Slightly dangerous and disarmingly smart, the Snake's philosophical and intuitive mind generally supersedes logic in favor of feelings and instinct. Snakes will rely on their own gut reactions and intuitions before turning to others for suggestions. This makes this Sign a great hand in any business venture, possessing the caution and smarts needed to get ahead.

Snakes are hard workers (when they see good reason to be!) and are possessed of a keen intelligence. Snakes have incredible follow-through, once they get going, and they expect the same from others. Thus, their coworkers and employees had best stay on their toes, lest they anger the Snake and suffer its poisonous bite!

In general, of course, Snakes are generous and genteel, charming and appealing. Snakes must try to learn humility and to develop a stronger sense of self. Once Snakes realize that confidence comes from within, they will finally be comfortable in their own skin.

To all those Carrot-lovers out there... uncanny, no?

Brindy's Bdidder Report

The bdidder went off without a hitch. Me madre threw a grand 'que in my honor, including grilled pineapple and a handmade shop class present from my brother. Then it was off to my house to get ready for the evening. Minor escorted me to the Bow whilest we waited for Darkness to get the keg. Many friends joined the celebration as we misbehaved with beer, fire and sarcasm, the things nearest and dearest to my heart. Hopefully, I will get to post some pics of that soon. I wish that Darkness read this blog so I could have a crazy post in honor of him. He did everything he could to make my day special, and no one besides my mommy has ever done that for me. So, sorry there aren't any crazy stories to tell, at least Fire Pig didn't get the best of me! And thanks to Darkness's g-friend EM-word for spilling beer on my head as the festivities concluded... Beer shower is always noice!

BTW, the pic goes along with the pathetic look of Brindy on Sunday morn, poor Brindy's head.

Question...

The Darkness as in:?

OR

?

If you don't
get it click HERE

Brindy's Diddums Ya'll

Hope you had a wodnerful diddums weekend Brindyface! I just thought this graphic was cute, let us have a contest to decide what the T.M.I. should stand for! My vote is for:
The
Mildy
Inebriated
Yes? No? Fine, you come up with something better!

Happy B-Didders to B-Rinders!!!

Post 'Stal Report - Good Times

The night could not have went better. It was without injury or any particular event worth mentioning. It was simply a nice evening with me madre and my good friends, The Darkness and Minor. Darkness kept my mama company with his addictive charm and conversation. Minor and I misbehaved as usual. We concluded the evening with stiffies from the 'Bow and just as I was about to be abandoned, my Furstenfeld look-a-like was perched at the end of the bar all by his lonesome. He might as well had a big red bow on his head, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to ME!
So, the plans for my actual bdiddy are quite suprising. I had imagined a night of wondering from place to place up and down MT Ave until I passed out or broke my leg or something. Alas Darkness, because he just can't help but be the coolest mawrucka I eva knew, has volunteered to throw a kegger/house party in my honor. That is exactly what I wanted last year and I asked for it a month or two in advance and he bailed on me at the last minute. Sad I know. But this year, it was all his idea and I am going to have the best of times, sans Danno. I wish there was going to be some Miller Time, but I will have a beer with cheers as I recollect our fondest memories of BGO. Heres to wishing I might make it through the event in tact, Fire Pig, you're not invited!

French Celebrity Quotation

How can you govern a nation that has two hundred and forty different kinds of cheese? -Charles de Gaulle

INDEED!

Know Your State Mottos

Alabama - Hell, Yes, We Have Electricity.
Alaska - 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
Arizona - Yes, But It's A Dry Heat.
Arkansas - Literacy Ain't Everythang.
California - By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda.
Colorado - If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother.
Connecticut - Like Massachusetts , only smaller.
Delaware - We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water.
Florida - Ask Us About Our Grand kids And Our Voting Skills.
Georgia - We Put The Fun In Fundamentalist Extremism.
Hawaii - Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, Leave Your Money)
Idaho - More Than Just Potatoes. Well, Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
Illinois - Please, Don't Pronounce the "S"
Indiana - 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa - We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Kansas - First Of The Rectangle States
Kentucky - Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
Louisiana - We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign.
Maine - We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
Maryland - If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It
Massachusetts - Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's And Our Senators Are More Corrupt
Michigan - First Line Of Defense From The Canadians
Minnesota - 10,000 Lakes... And 10 Zillion Mosquitoes
Mississippi - Come visit And Feel Better About Your Own State
Missouri - Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work
Montana - Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing
Crazies, and Honest Elections
Nebraska - Ask About Our State Motto Contest
Nevada - Hookers and Poker!
New Hampshire - Go Away And Leave Us Alone
New Jersey - You Want A ##$%##! Motto?I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right here!
New Mexico - Lizards Make Excellent Pets
New York - You Have The Right To Remain Silent,You Have The Right To An Attorney And No Right To Self Defense!
North Carolina - Tobacco Is A Vegetable
North Dakota - We Really Are One Of The 50 States!
Ohio - At Least We're Not Michigan
Oklahoma - Like The Play, But No Singing
Oregon - Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner
Pennsylvania - Cook With Coal
Rhode Island - We're Not REALLY An Island
South Carolina - Remember The Civil War?Well, We Didn't Actually Surrender, Yet!
South Dakota - Closer Than North Dakota
Tennessee - Home of the Al Gore Invention Museum
Texas - Se Hable Ingles
Utah - Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
Vermont - Too liberal for the Kennedys
Virginia - Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
Washington - Our Governor can out-fraud your Governor!
West Virginia - One Big Happy Family...Really!
Wisconsin - Come Cut the Cheese!
Wyoming - Home of Brokeback Mountain
The District of Columbia - The Work-Free Drug Place

Bring It

Well, as the Metal Monkey, I have hurt myself pretty good approximately every two weeks since the beginning of the year. I recently looked up my Chinese horoscope and it explained it all to me:
Monkey Health
"It is in this area where you could have the most problems this year. You are susceptible to illness and especially accidents. The combination of Fire and Metal is conducive to injuries."
So, I thought I would give a rundown of the injuries in order.
1. Big ol scrape from Z's deep dark basement when we came back from the Carino wedding all sauced up and I had to help him down the stairs.
2. Steam burn on my wrist from cooking broccoli, it left my skin looking like an aligator's for about a month.
3. I stumbled on the long walk home from a night of dice and debauchery and hurt my ankle REAL BAD. Prolly should have gone to the doc, but I just walked like an old lady for a month or so.
4. Tripped on the living room rug and slammed my head on a table, got a nice bruise on my arm.
5. Slipped on the floor at the fake Sublime concert at the 'Yard and my knee got hurt from my leg bending the wrong way. Now, I can barely walk at all.
6. Tripped on the living room rug again got some rug burns on my knees. AND... I have bruises all over my legs and arms that I have no recollection of acquiring.
7. Slipped in the shower and fell backwards, landed in between the tub and the stool, should have a nice bruise on my back, haven't had a chance to look yet.
So, if this is what has happened thus far, what is in store for the remainder of the year? Just something I have pondered recently as I poke and squish the blue, green, purple and yellow spots on my appendages. Stoopid Fire Pig!!

Hot Sexy Monk

Monkeys don't get much sexier than this. Hopefully I can be as alluring as this in the late hours of celebration, ow! The count down is as follows: Rock-out-with-my-cake-out tomorrow for me madre and party-on-Garth Saturday, for my actual day. Oh, the horror of getting through this Wednesday... gah, especially when my blog counterparts are no where to be found.

Sock Monkey Dress - Must be mine!

How is it that I just found this luxury item? At $1500, I think I might have to wait for one of my beezles to buy it FOR me for my bdidder, but wouldn't it be grand to sport it as I celebrate? Just a little reminder that there are people out there crazier than me.

It's sum mumkee's bdidder

In honor of my own 27th bdiddy, creeping up here in 5 days, I will make a grand effort to submit my favorite monkey art as I count down.

(Monkey is my animal counterpart according to the timelyness of my birth, Metal Monkey if you're hardcore) Here is the premier monkey, definitely a great expression about how I feel about this Monday. Just in case you are wondering... plans for the bdidder include kickin it with me madre at the 'Stal on Thursday, as that is her bdiddy, drinking booze, and hopefully laughing my ass off. Other events will surface, I am sure, I will keep everyone up to date and perhaps have some unsanitary comments in the aftermath. Cheers.

Nostalgia and History for Us

Colonel Bogey March

I'm bringin sexy bayuck

Hey folks, I am back for a little note to Carrot for being super assum queen of VIOH and a bit excessive with the OCD, but none the less a rock star for pimpin' our blog. I am sorry for abandoning her for so long. That goes out to the Millers and all our fans in China.

On a more personal note... Here is a little hottie for ya'll, He is Justin Furstenfeld from Blue October he looks a little like a boy I know. I might ask him to start wearing eye liner to get the full effect. Rrrarrr.

Welcome to the new VIOH

It's official! The VIOH has finally moved to the new Blogger template! Not only do we have a brand spankin' new look, but soon our archived posts will be labeled for your surfing pleasure. Feel free to let us know what you think!

CelebWITty Quote

Arnold Schwarzenegger: Gay marriage should be between a man and a woman.

BArt for the new century

Let's call him BOAZZ

WE LOVE PEANUT!!!!

She's a keeper!

Carrot's Celebrity Look-Alike Collage

Um... it must be broken :)

Do I look like deez ladies?

My cool celebrity look-alike collage from MyHeritage.com. Get one for yourself.

Easter Kitty Uprising

(slightly belated... HANDY beware!)

Hey, Charrrrlie

A Brindy Contribution...

Fair Warning

Crazy Bunny Just For You

WHO DOES THE WORK????

Who's working anyway?

The population of this country is 300 million.

160 million are retired.

That leaves 140 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school.

Which leaves 55 million to do the work.

Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.

Leaving 15 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces.

Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.

Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city
governments.

And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.

Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me.

And there you are,
Sitting at your computer, reading jokes.

Nice. Real nice.

BT Reunion!!!

Lost dog reunited with family after four years

Seen on the Today Show

WHERE DEVILED EGGS COME FROM

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter!

Carrot's Movie Quote Hall of Fame

Ace Ventura: [as Captain Kirk] Captain's Log, stardate 23.9, rounded off to the... nearest decimal point. We've... traveled back in time to save an ancient species from... total annihilation. SO FAR... no... signs of aquatic life, but I'm going to find it. If I have to tear this universe another black hole, I'm going to find it. I've... GOT TO, MISTER.

— Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)

Overheard in the Office

A new name for what Carrot does on a daily basis...

Tech #1: Have you read the email from the project managers?
Tech #2: Yes, I have. Would you like to create the reply?
Tech #1: Are you asking me to flush out the stupid?

Courtesy of Overheard in the Office

YOU SAY IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!!!

THE VOICES IN OUR HEADS WISH YOUR MOM A HAPPY DAY!!!

New twist, old song

Dog Hug

Speaking of Mullets...

Definitions for a few of the world's most awesome haircuts ever!!! To be continued for sure...


Bowllet - the combination of two of the worst haircuts imaginable, and quite possibly the worst mullet style of all.






The 10/90 - often cited as the purest of all mullets, simply 10% of the hair on the top and 90% hanging off the back.





The Rat Tail - a cowardly mullet, for someone who would dearly love to have a mullet but doesn't have the courage to go all the way.

RATE MY MULLET DOT COM

Rocket's E-Date #2

Alas, true love with Giselle was not to be, and Rocket is still in the hunt. Introducing Rocket's E-Date #2:

Selena

Likes include salsa dancing, yipping and rolling in smelly things.