Say It Isn't So!

It takes 7 years to digest gum
This myth debunked here:

Carrot Loves Weird Al moment #1

How it all began... Dood is a genius!

[I've also successfully posted a song that's stuck in my head right now... killing birds efficiently and all that...]

Ode to Christoper Walken

CW, man you crack me up!

An ode to my favorite Christopher Walken roles:

1. Click (2006) .... Morty


2. Envy (2004) .... J-Man


3. The Rundown (2003) .... Hatcher


4. Sleepy Hollow (1999) .... Hessian Horseman


5. Blast from the Past (1999) .... Calvin Webber


6. Pulp Fiction (1994) .... Captain Koons


7. Wayne's World 2 (1993) .... Bobby Cahn


8. Batman Returns (1992) .... Max Shreck

Heman goes 4 Non Blondes

Processed Cheese Product is not Cheese

Now, I know this may surprise many of you... but if you think you're getting actual cheese when you strip open that pre-processed slice of yellow-colored oil slab from it's greasy plastic cover... you're in for a figurative punch to the junk.

Now, the Food and Drug Administration standards say these products must contain at least 51 percent cheese... but DOOD, I ask you. What is the other 49%

DON'T BE FOOLED! Even when the label says "2% Milk" added... if it says "Cheese Food" ... you might as well keep it around to keep your squeaky door hinges greasy lest you be kept awake at night by the soft whimpering cries of the bread drawer in wretched turmoil at the thought of the next grilled "cheese" sandwich...

Cutest in the land, my baby terradactyl

One foot makes the chair bounce, the other foot just tastes good!

A Mom Message

What you will need if you don't take care of the pearlies!

In Response...

Brindy said:
So I said:
SO THERE

Believe in Fate?

Work Can Be Like This

Why did yankee doodle call it macaroni?

Back in Pre-Revolutionary America when the song "Yankee Doodle" was first popular, the singer was not referring to the pasta "macaroni" in the line that reads "stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni". "Macaroni" was a fancy ("dandy") style of Italian dress widely imitated in England at the time. So by just sticking a feather in his cap and calling himself a "Macaroni" (a "dandy"), Yankee Doodle was proudly proclaiming himself to be a country bumpkin, because that was how the English regarded most colonials at that time. But times have long since changed, and it is important to reflect on the fact that despite the turbulent early relationship between England and the American colonists, our two countries are strongly united.

Welcome to the Suck

As I stare lazily at my own foot through the glue-fume induced, sunstroke augmented haze that has been my life the past few days... I think to myself ... I'll just fill this sucker with water and start a koi farm... everybody likes koi... before the heat exhaustion sucks me under and the hallucinating begins.  Did you guys see the size of that chicken?

More of My Universe

My eyes today: Munny and Brindy.
Click here to see where to find them!

A Little of My Universe

This is Carrot as her day is the summer solstice.
Go to this way cool site!

Please take time to go there and enjoy!

Carrot's Movie Quote Hall of Fame

Tyler Durden: We're consumers. We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don't concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy's name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra.

Narrator: Martha Stewart.

Tyler Durden: Fuck Martha Stewart. Martha's polishing the brass on the Titanic. It's all going down, man. So fuck off with your sofa units and Strinne green stripe patterns.

— Fight Club (1999)

BDIDDY!

this is what I got you...



Ya Daaaaaaaaaammmmmn Right!

Dim Sum Yummy Lookin' Nougats!

HAPPY 3-0 CARROT

(I can make it look like I posted this on the right day, so lets pretend I did!!!)

Bamboozle the Fuzz

If you're looking for me next week

Don't worry, I'll be...

Miss me!!

Not to be a kopy kitty, but MUST HAVE!

In case you were wondering...

www.allposters.com

For all that love kitties as much as I

Almost Birthday Time!!!

Bring on the cake!

[because baby piggies are cute]

On the subject of twins...

Yes? No?

Twins, Basil!!

No gratuitous ab shots, but look at that hair!

Cadmium Heights: Bum Cribs

Cadmium Heights, good times. In the alley.

Barker Haiku

It's your final week to watch
the retiring grand master host
"The Price Is Right."
But there's still time to get
your pet spayed or neutered.

Carrot's Personal Spiritual Advisor Speaks Up

Attempting to come to terms with the emotional turmoil of Paris Hilton's jail time extravaganza and the mental capacity of the national media outlets who have nothing better to report on? (gah, the war in Iraq is like... so five minutes ago)?


Use this helpful tool to get it all back into perspective:

Too True

Munny's Believe it or NOT

There is a webpage directed solely at the latest trends in toilets. The following in one of my favorites, but you'll have to check it out to pick the toilet dearest to your own heart...

This hanging toilet and bidet from Ceramica Esedra’s Basic Collection are anything but “basic”. These vessels are elegantly sculpted, appearing more as works of art than traditional bathroom fixtures. Both the hanging toilet and bidet feature a unique asymmetrical design, whereby their curved faces have been carved at an angle, leaving an interesting shape reminiscent of sand dunes that have been eroded by the wind. The smooth surface is seamless, making cleaning these units a breeze. Attention to hygiene is again addressed as this hanging toilet and bidet allow for easy access to the underside of the fixtures and the floor below. Contact Ceramica Esedra for availability and pricing information. Ceramica Esedra

Rob and Fab

Fabrice? Gimme a break.

Cadmium Heights: Deathbed

Cad Hi

Fight Club

Um, even though Thursday is the new Friday, it still sucks that I gotta come in tomorrow too! Who's great idea was that any ways?

Saved By The Bell

SBTB Beeches

Carrot's Movie Quote Hall of Fame

Hitchhiker: You heard of this thing, the 8-Minute Abs?

Ted: Yeah, sure, 8-Minute Abs. Yeah, the excercise video.

Hitchhiker: Yeah, this is going to blow that right out of the water. Listen to this: 7... Minute... Abs.

Ted: Right. Yes. OK, all right. I see where you're going.

Hitchhiker: Think about it. You walk into a video store, you see 8-Minute Abs sittin' there, there's 7-Minute Abs right beside it. Which one are you gonna pick, man?

Ted: I would go for the 7.

Hitchhiker: Bingo, man, bingo. 7-Minute Abs. And we guarantee just as good a workout as the 8-minute folk.

Ted: You guarantee it? That's - how do you do that?

Hitchhiker: If you're not happy with the first 7 minutes, we're gonna send you the extra minute free. You see? That's it. That's our motto. That's where we're comin' from. That's from "A" to "B".

Ted: That's right. That's - that's good. That's good. Unless, of course, somebody comes up with 6-Minute Abs. Then you're in trouble, huh?

[Hitchhiker convulses]

Hitchhiker: No! No, no, not 6! I said 7. Nobody's comin' up with 6. Who works out in 6 minutes? You won't even get your heart goin, not even a mouse on a wheel.

Ted: That - good point.

Hitchhiker: 7's the key number here. Think about it. 7-Elevens. 7 doors. 7, man, that's the number. 7 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea. It's like you're dreamin' about Gorgonzola cheese when it's clearly Brie time, baby. Step into my office.

Ted: Why?

Hitchhiker: 'Cause you're fuckin' fired!

— There's Something About Mary (1998)

Cadmium Heights: Witch Cops - NEW!

Cadmium Heights

Olive You.. and you... and yea, YOU

Rocket is BArt all on his own

The soft eyes, the parted ears, the beauty of Rocket abounds.

Sometimes I feel like dancing GOTD

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Cadmium Heights: Lawyerin Larry

Cadmium Heights - beeches

Ponderings:

WHY is spam called 'SPAM'?

and I am NOT talking about this stuff:I sit an I ponder, sit and ponder. The weight of the world is not on my shoulders. I may be suffering from a lack of sleep, but I do not think it is such a left field sort of question to ask. Do tell me what you think, I am begging you.

Munny takes back the lead...

Too bad

Return of the Jedi

Cadmium Heights: Angry Roommate

I [heart] Cadmium Heights

For computer users with a sense of humor

Rocket's E-Date #3

Ah, love is a fickle thing. Will this one be the one to end his lonely nights? Introducing Rocket's E-Date #3:

Rowena

Likes include racing, pointy ears and uncontrollable drool.

Time to Assess New Year Resolutions

Unicorn is Magic

Cadmium Heights: Brad's First Day

Local Boys Make Me Laugh: I know half the kids in this vid, but they are all hilarious and there are more vids to post, keep comin back for more.

Carrot's Movie Quote Hall of Fame

Agent Sands: El, you really must try this because it's puerco pibil. It's a slow-roasted pork, nothing fancy. It just happens to be my favorite, and I order it with a tequila and lime in every dive I go to in this country. And honestly, that is the best it's ever been anywhere. In fact, it's too good. It's so good that when I'm finished, I'll pay my check, walk straight into the kitchen and shoot the cook. Because that's what I do. I restore the balance to this country. And that is what I would like from you right now. Help keep the balance by pulling the trigger.

— Once Upon a Time in Mexico (2003)

Now That's a Dog!

Puppets are fun

Weiner Time

Natalie Dee - Brindy's new hero [besides Carrot of course]

Hooray for me

... and for those around me who have had to put up with the insanity:


Sing it now...
S-s-s-s A-a-a-a F-f-f-f E-e-e-e T-t-t-t Y-y-y-y
Safety Dance!

We can dance if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Well they're no friends of mine
I say, we can go where we want to
A place where they will never find
And we can act like we come from out of this world
Leave the real one far behind

And we can dance
We can dance
Everybody Safety Dance!

Super Carrot

Because my good friend is a Super Coder Carrot and I wanted to make sure all were aware.

This just is, because it kicks my ass!


bong bong

MDM spells L O V E

If you love as much as I, visit his site and watch Blue Collar Existentialism and all of his other vids as well. Smart kid, nice accent.

VOTE NOW

Most Dominant College Mascot on Earth: Spartans vs. Cowboys

We're in the finals, people. It's go time...



www.sportsline.com

Happy Mums Day

To all the moms I know, this one's for you:

Carrot Loves Weird Al moment #255

I sued Taco Bell
'Cause I ate half-a-million Chalupas and I got fat
I sued Panasonic
They never said I shouldn't use their microwave to dry off my cat, huh

I sued Earthlink
'Cause I called 'em up and they had the nerve to put me on hold
I sued Starbucks
'Cause I spilled a frappucino in my lap and brr, it was cold

I sued Toys 'R Us
Cause I swallowed a Nerf ball and nearly choked to death, huh
I sued PetCo
'Cause I ate a bag of kitty litter and now I got bad breath

I sued Coca-Cola, yo
'Cause I put my finger down in a bottle and it got stuck
I sued Delta Airlines
'Cause they sold me a ticket to New Jersey - I went there, and it sucked

Yeah
If you stand me up on a date
If you deliver my pizza thirty seconds late

I'm gonna sue, sue, yes, I'm gonna sue
Sue, sue, yeah, that's what I'm gonna do
I'm gonna sue, sue, yes, I'm gonna sue
Sue, sue, yeah, I might even sue you
Ughh

I sued Duracell
They never told me not to shove that double-A right up my nose
I sued Home Depot
'Cause they sold me a hammer which they knew I might drop on my toes

I sued Dell Compueters
'Cause I took a bath with my laptop, now it doesn't work
I sued Fruit Of The Loom
'Cause when I wear my tighty-whities on my head I look like a jerk

I sued Verizon
'Cause I get all depressed every time my cell phone is roaming
I sued Colorado
'Cause you know, I think it looks a little bit too much like Wyoming!

I sued Neiman Marcus
'Cause they put up their Christmas decorations way out of season
I sued Ben Affleck
Aww, do I even need a reason?

Uhh
If I sprain my ankle while I'm robbin' your place
If I hurt my knuckles while I punch you in the face

I'm gonna sue, sue, yes, I'm gonna sue
Sue, sue, yeah, that's what I'm gonna do
I'm gonna sue, sue, yes, I'm gonna sue
Sue, sue, that's right, I'm gonna sue you
Ughh, ughh, ughh

— "I'll Sue Ya" Weird Al Yankovic

I am in Code Hell

Code Munkee Blewz