Riddle me THIS

Scientists have proven that dogs have more hair on one side then their other side. Some people believe that this is because when dogs lay on their side they need insulation from the cold on the floor or ground. Which side of a dog has more hair?

Or Perhaps...

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Death to Square Eyes

Although I do appreciate Munny's artistic genius, I must protest (gently) the aforementioned portrayal of mineself South Park-style. Perhaps a more accurate rendering:

You think?

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Quick Riddle. Keeping it clean now!

Why does Santa have a garden in his front yard, a garden in his side yard, and a garden in his back yard?

Sorry, Folks...

I'm going to be in an in-service all day, sillies! More fun times to come later...

I do love to make fun of Brindy's misfortunes!!

If we were on South Park...

I think it is fairly obvious who is who.

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SICKOUT Tuesday

I am jealous of Carrot's ability to find awesome gifs.
I really wanted to spend the rest of the day at St. V. de P, not to shop, but because the loiterers there are my kinda folks.
I really wanted one of those vendor dogs.
I like the cubby I built for my 4 year old this weekend more than he does.

All my hope is gone, gone, gone, baby, gone.

What's up with those lyrics

Music fans have often interpreted the song as a metaphor of nuclear war, a call for safe sex, and even a protest against club slamdancing bans. Group member Stefan Doroschuk said in an online interview that Safety Dance is about nonconformism and everyone's ability to leave their friends behind and strike out on their own. But songwriter and lead vocals Ivan Doroschuk gives a nod to the slamdancing theory. I say we can all decide for ourselves while we enjoy the midget jamming out with the band!

Lo Pan's the Man

Ever sit through a meeting that you don't really need to be in and pretend that the person who is speaking is being enveloped by Lo Pan's fantasmical green ray of evilness?

Or am I the only one?

Carrot's Movie Quote Hall of Fame

Prince Humperdinck: First things first, to the death.

Westley: No. To the pain.

Prince Humperdinck: I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.

Westley: I'll explain and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon.

Prince Humperdinck: That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.

Westley: It won't be the last. To the pain means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose.

Prince Humperdinck: And then my tongue I suppose, I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.

Westley: I wasn't finished. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.

Prince Humperdinck: And then my ears, I understand let's get on with it.

Westley: WRONG. Your ears you keep and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God! What is that thing," will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.

Prince Humperdinck: I think your bluffing.

Westley: It's possible, Pig, I might be bluffing. It's conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass, that I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But, then again... perhaps I have the strength after all.
[slowly rises and points sword directly at the prince]

Westley: DROP... YOUR... SWORD!
[mouth hanging open, drops sword to floor]

— The Princess Bride (1987)

BETTER THAN NEW not dirty in any way RIDDLE for my FRY ENDS!!!!

Why don't seagulls fly over the bay?

I Really Wanna GroupHug

Alas, I have sworn myself from it. I shall never return to observe the unfiltered conciousness of our deteriorating society, Spat, I spew it from my inside. Sick out, sick sick effs!
I do need to confess however that I get a hankering for it from time to time. Which is exactly the reason I forbode myself to partake in it any longer. I was becoming one of them. The sickness that exists there is only glorified by those who cannot resist to retrieve the burden of confession. Those who never actually hug, just bear witness, insisting all the while that they are not one of 'them'.
I still need to confess however, and this shall be my forum. So, confess sinners, relieve the weight of guilt from you.
Purge. Now.

Proof that Burger King is Evil

Is it really necessary to not only serve the fattiest, most calorific food on the planet, but to also come up with the creepiest, most prone to give you nightmares spokes...thingy? My new purpose in life is to get the word out to all the peoples of the world that BK is evil, starting with the expose' of the King himself.

Hangman du week

Your hint is "white trash will never die",
as long as this bizzle's around anywayz!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Another Doozie

What's green and yellow and eats nuts?

Sometimes I get a hankerin...

Just because I am almost 27, and I am not a famous rockstar or painter or actress, but I could die of a heroin o.d., you never know. And because I miss Brad and Sublime and Eric wrote 'eff you' on my autograph.

How do ya scare me now...

I admit that I'm afraid of the dark. Have been since I was 4 (victim of an extremely over-active imagination from birth). One of the very first things that caused me to scrunch up into a tiny ball under my covers and pray for morning was Reverend Kane in Poltergeist II. After that it was Rachel Creed's sister Zelda in Pet Sematary (for the record... she wasn't that scary in the book, but her scenes in the movie still freak me right out). More recently it was that creepy little kid in The Grudge (who, BTW, breaks ALL the freaking rules by actually climbing *inside* the covers with the scared person. Bad!!) and don't get me started on Emily Rose.

That being said, can I just admit that the Burger King creeps me right the hell out?

Who's brilliant marketing plan was this? "Let's terrify small children and sell burgers at the same time!!!!! MuAHahAHahAHahAHahAHHHHHH." I'm not a violent person, but I swear if that Burger King comes near me I'm going to find something sharp to stab him with. And run (his head may be freakishly large, but I bet that dude can book it). Or maybe I'll just run over him with my car. I'll play it by ear.

Wax on, Wax Hoff

For when you just don't feel like actually working on a Friday...

www.waxhoff.com

(Sorry, DLR ... there's just so much more of that sweet Hoff to go around)

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