| 1. | internuts | |
The act of surfing the internet for too long, in which the testicles get caught under your legs. After a while of sitting on them, without you realizing it, they will become numb, moist, and disgusting. "Alex was checking out sites, and when he got up to piss he realized he had a bad case of internuts." www.urbandictionary.com | ||
Saturday Night
The Bay City Rollers
- written by Bill Martin and Phil Coulter
SATURDAY night!
SATURDAY night!
SATURDAY night!
SATURDAY night!
Gonna keep on dancin' to the
rock and roll
On Saturday night, Saturday night
Dancin' to the rhythm in our
heart and soul
On Saturday Night, Saturday night
IIIII just can't wait,
IIII got a date
*At the good ole rock and roll road
show, I gotta go
Saturday Night,
Saturday Night
Gonna rock it up, roll it up
Do it all, have a ball,
Saturday Night,
Saturday Night
It's just a Saturday Night
It's just a Saturday Night
It's just a Saturday Night
Gonna dance with my baby till the
night is thru
On Saturday Night, Saturday Night
Tell her all the little things I'm
gonna do
On Saturday night, Saturday Night
IIIIlove her so
III I'm gonna let her know
*repeat
SATURDAY NIGHT, SATURDAY NIGHT,
SATURDAY NIGHT, SATURDAY NIGHT,
It's just a Saturday night
It's just a Saturday Night,
IT's just a Saturday Night,
It's just a Saturday Night,
(repeat and fade)
That is kewl and all, but seriously, think of how many perscriptions you could fill for some old folks who can't figure out medicare with the money you spent on those tats. Or how many kids who haven't eaten more than ketchup soup in a week that you could buy an ice cream for. Geez, there are people who have to use 1 ply tp and you, you just had to blow your wad on a fancy body tat. I hope you are walking around naked all the time to make it worth your while.
One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
Two can be as bad as one, its the loneliest number since the number one
No is the saddest experience you'll ever know
Yes is the saddest experience you'll ever know
cause one is the loneliest number that you'll ever know
one is the loneliest number even worst then two
yeah
its just no good anymore since you went away
now I spend my time just making up rhymes of yesterday
one is the loneliest number
one is the loneliest number
one is the loneliest number
since you went away
since you went away
(one is the loneliest number since you've gone away)
one is the loneliest number
one is the loneliest number
one is the loneliest number
since you've gone away
Its just no good anymore since you went away
now I spend my time just making up rhymes of yesterday
one is the loneliest number
one is the loneliest number
one is the loneliest number
since you went away
since you went away
— Filter
One
Crop circles are David's way of telling the world that sometimes
corn just needs to lie the f**k down.
David Hasselhoff is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
If you were to lock David Hasselhoff in a room with a guitar, a
year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the
Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this David replied "Because
Grammy's are for queers."
When David Hasselhoff drinks pee, his asparagus smells funny.
In fine print at on the last page of the Guinness Book of World
Records it notes that all world records are held by David Hasselhoff,
and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever
come to matching him.
David Hasselhoff has two speeds: walk and kill.
David Hasselhoff can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At
night.
David Hasselhoff is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a
game of tennis.
When David Hasselhoff jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get
wet. The water gets David instead.
Whenever David Hasselhoff puts out a cigarette, he throws it in
slow motion into a long line of gasoline and calmly walks away as an
inferno erupts behind him.
David Hasselhoff haunts Freddy Krueger's nightmares.
Gun Salesman: We call this piece the Fecalator. One look at it and the target shits him or herself. Try it on.
Loki: Well, it's a lot more compact than the flaming sword, but it's not nearly as impressive. Just doesn't have that Wrath-of-the-Almighty edge to it. I mean, come on, how am I supposed to strike fear into the hearts of the wicked with this thing? Look at this...
Bartleby: Well, then, you know, don't use a gun. Just lay the place to waste, like.
Loki: Easy for you to say. You get off light in razing. You got to stand there and read at Sodom and Gomorrah, I had to do all the work.
Bartleby: What work did you do? You lit a few fires.
Loki: I rained down sulphur, man, there's a subtle difference.
Bartleby: Oh, yeah, I'm sure.
Loki: Hey, you know, fuck you, man. Any moron with a pack of matches can set a fire. Raining down sulphur is like an endurance trial man. Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, outside of soccer.
— Dogma (1999)
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures David Hasselhoff allows to live.
When David Hasselhoff was born, the nurse said, "Holy Cow! That's David Hasselhoff!" Then she had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.
When David Hasselhoff goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
In an average room there are 1,242 objects David Hasselhoff could use to kill you, including the room itself.
The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed money from David Hasselhoff and forgot to pay him back.
David Hasselhoff is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.
You are what you eat. That is why David Hasselhoff's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.
On his birthday, David Hasselhoff randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
When David Hasselhoff does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
David Hasselhoff invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Chuck Norris invented pink.
David Hasselhoff coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.
The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when David Hasselhoff punched himself in the face.
| 1. | shiterature | |
the books, magazines, or other reading material that one leaves in the bathroom to stave off the boredom of shitting. "Dude, why don't you have any good shiterature?" www.urbandictionary.com | ||
This is how you do the asstat right, so the beautiful bottom becomes a beautiful bossom.
Today I made a dookie that looked like the alien baby from the Alien movie... all fetal and everything. I wanted to pick it from the bowl and caress it for its first moments of life, but the auto flusher got him before he even took his first breath.
Justin Timberlake 'I pick my nose and I'm not ashamed to admit it. If there's a bogey then just pick it, man.'
