TO: ALL PERSONNEL

It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts of "Miscellaneous Unproductive Time" (Code 5309). However, we need to know exactly what you are doing during your unproductive time.

Attached below is a sheet specifying a tentative extended job code list based on our observations of employee activities.

The list will allow you to specify with a fair amount of precision what you are doing during your unproductive time. Please begin using this job-code list immediately and let us know about any difficulties you encounter.

Thank you,
Accounting

Attached: Extended Job-Code List
Code and Explanation
5316 Useless Meeting

5318 Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in Meeting

5320 Waiting for Lunch

5321 Waiting for End of Day

5401 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Stupid

5501 Inventing Timesheet Entries

5510 Feeling Bored

5601 Complaining About Low Pay

5640 Miscellaneous Unproductive Complaining

5701 Not Actually Present At Job

6104 Taking It Easy While Digesting Food

6200 Using Company Resources for Personal Profit

6201 Stealing Company Goods

6203 Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls

6207 Planning a Social Event (e.g. vacation, wedding, etc.)

6211 Updating Resume

6223 Pretending You Like Coworker

6238 Miscellaneous Unproductive Fantasizing

6611 Staring Into Space

6612 Staring At Computer Screen

6615 Transcendental Meditation

7281 Extended Visit to the Bathroom (at least 10 minutes)

7425 Talking With Mistress/Boy-Toy on Phone

8000 Recreational Drug Use

8001 Non-recreational Drug Use

8002 Liquid Lunch

8100 Reading e-mail