Another Dogism

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
-Josh Billings

Live the life you have imagined

Ode To The Nut Shot

One of Many Dogisms

We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare.
And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made.
-M. Acklam

Too Legit to Quit

All of these are legitimate companies that didn't spend quite enough time considering how their online names might appear ... and be misread. These are not made up. Check them out yourself!

1. "Who Represents" is where you can find the name of the agent that represents any celebrity. Their Web site is www.whorepresents.com

2 . Experts Exchange is a knowledge base where programmers can exchange
advice and views at www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at
www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at www.therapistfinder.com

5. There's the Italian Power Generator company, www.powergenitalia.com

6. And don't forget the Mole Station Native Nursery in New South Wales ,
www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you're looking for IP computer software, there's always
www.ipanywhere.com

8. The First Cumming Methodist Church Web site is www.cummingfirst.com

9. And the designers at Speed of Art await you at their wacky Web site,
www.speedofart.com

Know of any more?

Carrot Loves Weird Al moment #217

I met him in a swamp down in Dagoba
Where it bubbles all the time like a giant carbonated soda
S O D A, soda

I saw the little runt sitting there on a log
I asked him his name and in a raspy voice he said "Yoda"
Y O D A, Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda

Well, I've been around, but I ain't never seen
A guy who looks like a muppet, but he's wrinkled and green
Oh, my Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda

Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda

— "Yoda" Weird Al Yankovic

Who knows how to be a drunken mouse?

Click HERE if you don't have the plug in!

Feel better EVERYONE!!

C'mon FOLKS keep the MAGIC alive!!

TO: ALL PERSONNEL

It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts of "Miscellaneous Unproductive Time" (Code 5309). However, we need to know exactly what you are doing during your unproductive time.

Attached below is a sheet specifying a tentative extended job code list based on our observations of employee activities.

The list will allow you to specify with a fair amount of precision what you are doing during your unproductive time. Please begin using this job-code list immediately and let us know about any difficulties you encounter.

Thank you,
Accounting

Attached: Extended Job-Code List
Code and Explanation
5316 Useless Meeting

5318 Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in Meeting

5320 Waiting for Lunch

5321 Waiting for End of Day

5401 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Stupid

5501 Inventing Timesheet Entries

5510 Feeling Bored

5601 Complaining About Low Pay

5640 Miscellaneous Unproductive Complaining

5701 Not Actually Present At Job

6104 Taking It Easy While Digesting Food

6200 Using Company Resources for Personal Profit

6201 Stealing Company Goods

6203 Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls

6207 Planning a Social Event (e.g. vacation, wedding, etc.)

6211 Updating Resume

6223 Pretending You Like Coworker

6238 Miscellaneous Unproductive Fantasizing

6611 Staring Into Space

6612 Staring At Computer Screen

6615 Transcendental Meditation

7281 Extended Visit to the Bathroom (at least 10 minutes)

7425 Talking With Mistress/Boy-Toy on Phone

8000 Recreational Drug Use

8001 Non-recreational Drug Use

8002 Liquid Lunch

8100 Reading e-mail

Mmmm-mmmmm Good

The Incredible Edible Egg

Look what's good for breakfast!

http://health.yahoo.com/better-in-2007/get-healthy-now

R.I.P. Iwao Takamoto

I never knew you, and never would have found out your name had you not died, but you created the "One Pure Soul"... the Scooby Doo of my childhood AND adulthood. Thank you Iwao, sorry you died!

The Show must go on...

My dream home

IF I HAD 78 MILLION DOLLARS

Word of the Day...

1.	tarantula pants
	Tarantula pants is a penguin, who directs traffic with a life saver, like the ones in star wars. "Look it's Tarantula Pants!" www.urbandictionary.com

Carrot's Personal Spiritual Guide Weighs In...

Sometimes when you've just returned from vacation and
being back at work makes you sad and crunchy inside...

... you just have to sit back and envision yourself as a greasy taco
about to be devoured by a cracked-out wildebeast...

... and remember that things could be ickier.