Thursday, August 31, 2006

Munny's (stupid )Pseudo-celebrity Quote

Paris Hilton
“I don't really think, I just walk.”

A visually stimulating riddle

Piddles has been connected to Babs via wire wrapped around their wrists, as shown in the picture above. How can Piddles and Babs unlink themselves from these unbreakable wires? NO LIMB SAWING ALLOWED!

Carrot's Movie Quote Hall of Fame

IMDBPhil Connors: Don't drive angry. Do not drive angry. [to the groundhog who he's holding behind the wheel of the truck he's driving]
Groundhog Day (1993)

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Alas, I can't give you a picture...

But this site has a funny cartoon about blogging. Today has been somewhat creative, but some days are like the archived cartoon at this site. And, the site is kind of fun too. Guess this is a plug for it.

SpongMonkeys and the Moon

evil vs. evilER

Image Hosted by ImageShack.usA simple illustration showing the ongoing battle in the heed to be bad or REALLY bad, so hard to choose sometimes. i.e. Should I bash in his heed till it rattles and squishes, or should I sever all limbs and then decapitate Kill-Bill-style? It really is a tough choice to make, so agonizing I probably won't get around to doing either. damn

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Ahhh... do you ever wish for a simpler time?

When the world was more relaxed? No bills to pay, no stress from your job, no yard to mow, no relationships to screw up? Your favorite things were playing in the sandbox and Saturday morning cartoons? No? Well let this take you to a happy place...

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I don't know about you, but jump-roping pooh always does it for me...

Where is Everybody?

Monday, August 28, 2006

Carrot, Don't Hate Me!

Why do ships have round portholes?

Boil em, Mash em, Stick em ina Stew...

Image Hosted by ImageShack.usSo you all are aware the wrath of Carrot... She is a powerful VegMaster, packed full of beta carotene that she is not afraid to use on YOUR ASS!

uhhh, sorry guys, I ruined this, I accidentally saved over it when I was trying to use it for the new post. DOH!

Fun Factoid, since my riddles are bombing

MunnyAoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by itslef but the wrod as a wlohe.

I'm turning over a new leaf...

Let me introduce you to
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Warm and fuzzy Carrot


New book idea...

Soon we'll be putting together a coffee table book called:
"Poohing Across the World: A Documentary on Pay Toilets Abroad"

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We will travel the world seeing how the other folks pooh and make sure the world knows!!! We will soon be millionaires...

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Friday, August 25, 2006

A FUN riddle with a FUN answer

Not born... but from a Mother's body drawn. I hang until half of me is gone. I sleep in a cave until I grow old, then valued for my hardened gold. What am I?

Dancing Queen

Hidden camera video of an Air Force Cadet dancing in his room when he thinks nobody is looking. When my daughters lived in dorms, I imagine them doing similar sorts of things.

A self portrait of the heart

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Death Match Suggestion #368

Oh what I wouldn't give to see a death match involving James Blunt and Daniel Powter
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... but only if they somehow miraculously finished eachother off at the same time and, to the great benefit of all of humanity, both of their irritating songs simultaneously blipped out of existence never to return to the airwaves. It would be one big Beautiful Bad Day ... to them.

Ponder this...

They tell you to stop and smell the roses. A noble sentiment, to be sure, but what if you're Darth Vader and it's winter damnit?

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... and that is my slightly brain-fried-Friday, completely irrelevant thought of the moment. Enjoy.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Watch the dog's eyes!!

Riddle me THIS

MunnyScientists have proven that dogs have more hair on one side then their other side. Some people believe that this is because when dogs lay on their side they need insulation from the cold on the floor or ground. Which side of a dog has more hair?

Or Perhaps...

Death to Square Eyes

Although I do appreciate Munny's artistic genius, I must protest (gently) the aforementioned portrayal of mineself South Park-style. Perhaps a more accurate rendering:

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Quick Riddle. Keeping it clean now!

MunnyWhy does Santa have a garden in his front yard, a garden in his side yard, and a garden in his back yard?

Sorry, Folks...

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I'm going to be in an in-service all day, sillies! More fun times to come later...

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

I do love to make fun of Brindy's misfortunes!!

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If we were on South Park...

I think it is fairly obvious who is who.


Image Hosted by ImageShack.usI am jealous of Carrot's ability to find awesome gifs.
I really wanted to spend the rest of the day at St. V. de P, not to shop, but because the loiterers there are my kinda folks.
I really wanted one of those vendor dogs.
I like the cubby I built for my 4 year old this weekend more than he does.

All my hope is gone, gone, gone, baby, gone.

What's up with those lyrics

Music fans have often interpreted the song as a metaphor of nuclear war, a call for safe sex, and even a protest against club slamdancing bans. Group member Stefan Doroschuk said in an online interview that Safety Dance is about nonconformism and everyone's ability to leave their friends behind and strike out on their own. But songwriter and lead vocals Ivan Doroschuk gives a nod to the slamdancing theory. I say we can all decide for ourselves while we enjoy the midget jamming out with the band!

Lo Pan's the Man

Ever sit through a meeting that you don't really need to be in and pretend that the person who is speaking is being enveloped by Lo Pan's fantasmical green ray of evilness?
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Or am I the only one?

Carrot's Movie Quote Hall of Fame

Image Hosted by ImageShack.usPrince Humperdinck: First things first, to the death.

Westley: No. To the pain.

Prince Humperdinck: I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.

Westley: I'll explain and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon.

Prince Humperdinck: That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.

Westley: It won't be the last. To the pain means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose.

Prince Humperdinck: And then my tongue I suppose, I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.

Westley: I wasn't finished. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.

Prince Humperdinck: And then my ears, I understand let's get on with it.

Westley: WRONG. Your ears you keep and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God! What is that thing," will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.

Prince Humperdinck: I think your bluffing.

Westley: It's possible, Pig, I might be bluffing. It's conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass, that I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But, then again... perhaps I have the strength after all.
[slowly rises and points sword directly at the prince]

Westley: DROP... YOUR... SWORD!
[mouth hanging open, drops sword to floor]

The Princess Bride (1987)

BETTER THAN NEW not dirty in any way RIDDLE for my FRY ENDS!!!!


Why don't seagulls fly over the bay?

Monday, August 21, 2006

I Really Wanna GroupHug

Alas, I have sworn myself from it. I shall never return to observe the unfiltered conciousness of our deteriorating society, Spat, I spew it from my inside. Sick out, sick sick effs!
I do need to confess however that I get a hankering for it from time to time. Which is exactly the reason I forbode myself to partake in it any longer. I was becoming one of them. The sickness that exists there is only glorified by those who cannot resist to retrieve the burden of confession. Those who never actually hug, just bear witness, insisting all the while that they are not one of 'them'.
I still need to confess however, and this shall be my forum. So, confess sinners, relieve the weight of guilt from you.
Purge. Now.

Proof that Burger King is Evil

Is it really necessary to not only serve the fattiest, most calorific food on the planet, but to also come up with the creepiest, most prone to give you nightmares spokes...thingy? My new purpose in life is to get the word out to all the peoples of the world that BK is evil, starting with the expose' of the King himself.

Hangman du week

Your hint is "white trash will never die",
as long as this bizzle's around anywayz!

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Friday, August 18, 2006

Another Doozie


What's green and yellow and eats nuts?

Sometimes I get a hankerin...

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Just because I am almost 27, and I am not a famous rockstar or painter or actress, but I could die of a heroin o.d., you never know. And because I miss Brad and Sublime and Eric wrote 'eff you' on my autograph.

How do ya scare me now...

CarrotI admit that I'm afraid of the dark. Have been since I was 4 (victim of an extremely over-active imagination from birth). One of the very first things that caused me to scrunch up into a tiny ball under my covers and pray for morning was Reverend Kane in Poltergeist II. After that it was Rachel Creed's sister Zelda in Pet Sematary (for the record... she wasn't that scary in the book, but her scenes in the movie still freak me right out). More recently it was that creepy little kid in The Grudge (who, BTW, breaks ALL the freaking rules by actually climbing *inside* the covers with the scared person. Bad!!) and don't get me started on Emily Rose.

That being said, can I just admit that the Burger King creeps me right the hell out?

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Who's brilliant marketing plan was this? "Let's terrify small children and sell burgers at the same time!!!!! MuAHahAHahAHahAHahAHHHHHH." I'm not a violent person, but I swear if that Burger King comes near me I'm going to find something sharp to stab him with. And run (his head may be freakishly large, but I bet that dude can book it). Or maybe I'll just run over him with my car. I'll play it by ear.

Wax on, Wax Hoff

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For when you just don't feel like actually working on a Friday...

(Sorry, DLR ... there's just so much more of that sweet Hoff to go around)

Thursday, August 17, 2006

The Ultimate Showdown

What is the Happiness Curve?

Sure you've heard it called other names: beer belly, big belly, breadbasket, dinner pail, front porch, garbage can, gut, keg, kitchen, middle-aged spread, midriff, midsection, navy chest, pantry, paunch, pot, pot belly, spare tire, stomach, tank...
We prefer to call it the "Happiness Curve" for all of the times we have enjoyed eating a delicious meal. Let's face it, if you really love good food, the Happiness Curve is hard to avoid.

Go ahead, give 'er a guess

Why was Cinderella kicked out of Disneyland?

I bet you thought we'd chicken out...

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Quick re-cap of vacation:
drive > eat > sleep > drive > look for a Sonic > drive > sleep > eat > eat > eat > shop > swim > drive > no tacos > drive > almost die > drive > home > sleep

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Um . . . was Munny in Minneapolis recently?

Woman #1: I don't think I can handle a two-hour meeting.
Woman #2: The trick is to doodle in your notebook the whole time; it looks like you're taking notes.
Woman #1: I can design outfits for my cat rodeo!

330 South 3rd Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard in the Office by: Cora


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Carrot's Movie Quote Hall of Fame

Image Hosted by ImageShack.usChris Knight: So, if there's anything I can do for you, or, more to the point, to you, you just let me know.
Susan: Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?
Chris Knight: Not right now.
Susan: A girl's gotta have her standards.

Real Genius (1985)

The Next Hoff?

Was going to be Patrick Swayze... but it's becoming clear to me that the only real choice now is
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The one, the only, DLR

Riddle me this....

What is big and purple, is covered with green fur, has 13 arms and 34 legs, eats celery and goes "Borf borf!"?

You Might be a Child of the 80's If...

• You have deep, personal relationships via computers with people you've never met in real life before.

• The phrase "going courting", to you, means fighting an unjust traffic ticket or playing tennis.

• You know, by heart, the words to any "Weird" Al Yankovic song.

• Songs by Debbie Gibson still haunt you to this day.

• You remember the days when "safe sex" meant "my parents are gone for the weekend".

• You remember "Friday Night Videos" before the days of MTV.

• You're pissed that you couldn't really participate in the 60's, pissed that you were a part of the 70's, think you wasted too much time doing stupid, meaningless things in the 80's, and still have no clue what the 90's are all about.

• While in high school, you and all your friends discussed elaborate plans to get together again at the end of the century and play "1999" by Prince over and over again.

• You remember when music that was labeled "alternative" really was.

• You were shocked and horrified at the Challenger explosion (which you were probably watching in school at the time), and yet, when someone mentions the name "JFK", the first thing you think of is "Oliver Stone".

• You, yes you, sat down and memorized the entire lyric sheet to "It's the end of the world as we know it".

• You took family trips before the invention of the mini-van. You rode in the back of the station wagon and you faced the cars behind you.

• You've ever conversationally used the phrase "Jane, you ignorant slut".

• You can't remember a time when "going out for coffee" didn't involve 49,000 selections to choose from.

• Schoolhouse Rock played a huge part in how you actually learned the English language.

• There were at least three people in your school that voluntarily went by the names of "Skip" "Buffy" "Muffy" or "Dexter".

• The phrase "Where's the beef?" still doubles you over with laughter.

• You're starting to believe that maybe 30 isn't so old after all, and it's those people over 40 you have to look out for.

• Your hair, at some point in time in the 80's, became something which can only be described by the phrase "I was experimenting".

• This timeline appropriately describes actual events in your life: Star Wars opens, you are still in single digit ages, and you think the creatures are WAY cool. Empire Strikes Back opens, you are now in early double digit ages, and you are convinced that the special effects are much better, the characters are cool, and you want one of every collectible out there. Return of the Jedi hits the are now a teenager, and you cannot get your eyes off Princess Leia's breasts or Han Solo's butt.

• You remember when the phrase "candy is dandy, but sex won't rot your teeth" started getting followed by "yeah, but M&M's won't give you AIDS...".

• You're doing absolutely nothing with anything pertaining to your major degree.

• You won't walk into the place where you once knew every bartender on a first name basis because "there's too many kids there".

• Going to keg parties no longer involves hiding out in the woods when the cops show up.

• You're starting to get that "why aren't you married yet" shpiel, not just from parents, but now from friends that are married.

• You've recently horrified yourself by groaning as you get out of bed, not because of a hangover, but because it genuinely just hurt to do so.

• You're finding that you just don't understand more than half the lingo used on MTV any more.

• You ever wanted to be gagged with a spoon.

• You ever used the phrase "don't make me wouldn't like me when I'm angry" when trying to frighten someone off.

• You spent endless nights dreaming about being the Bionic Woman or Wonder Woman or the Six Million Dollar Man.

• You remember "Hey, let's be careful out there".

• You know who shot J.R.

• This rings a bell: "and my name, is Charlie. They work for me."

Munny's CelebReality Quote

David Lee Roth If Ted Nugent gets his own reality show, I think I deserve one, too. I mean, it’s only fair. I should have had one first. Wait… Was it Ted Nugent who was in Van Halen or Sammy Hagar? I get them confused. I hope Sammy Hagar didn’t get his own reality show, too. Man, that would suck.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Carrot's Movie Quote Hall of Fame

Jack Burton: It's like I told my last wife, I said, "Honey, I never drive faster than I can see, and besides that, it's all in the reflexes."
Big Trouble in Little China (1986)

Karate Kitty vs. Sumo Tabby

Little cat. Big cat. Little cat down.

A Happy Couple

Monday, August 14, 2006

First Day Back From Vacation

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And already the little voice in my head has started
with the "Quit hitting yourself, quit hitting yourself!" taunts...


Thursday, August 03, 2006

If you need us, this is where we'll be


MunnyAll our bags are packed
We're ready to go
We're standin here outside your door
we hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin
Its early morn
The taxis waitin
Hes blowin his horn
Already We're so lonesome
we could die

So kiss us and smile for us
Tell us that you'll wait for us
Hold us like you'll never let us go
cause We're leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when We'll be back again
Oh babe, we hate to go

Theres so many times We've let you down
So many times We've played around
we tell you now, they dont mean a thing
Every place we go, We'll think of you
Every song we sing, We'll sing for you
When we come back, We'll bring your wedding ring

So kiss us and smile for us
Tell us that you'll wait for us
Hold us like you'll never let us go
cause We're leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when We'll be back again
Oh babe, we hate to go

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time
Let us kiss you
Then close your eyes
We'll be on our way
Dream about the days to come
When we wont have to leave alone
About the times, we wont have to say

Oh, kiss us and smile for us
Tell us that you'll wait for us
Hold us like you'll never let us go
cause We're leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when We'll be back again
Oh babe, we hate to go

But, We're leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when We'll be back again
Oh babe, we hate to go

Speak NO, Hear NO, Smell NO

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Word of the day...

1. shero  

A female hero; a heroine; a strong woman who has accomplished great things of epic proportions

"Joan of Arc, who burned to death at the stake, was a shero before her time."

Carrot's Movie Quote Hall of Fame

Del Preston: So there, I am, in Sri Lanka, formerly Ceylon, at about 3 o'clock in the morning, looking for one thousand brown M&Ms to fill a brandy glass, or Ozzy wouldn't go on stage that night. So, Jeff Beck pops his head 'round the door, and mentions there's a little sweets shop on the edge of town. So - we go. And - it's closed. So there's me, and Keith Moon, and David Crosby, breaking into that little sweets shop, eh. Well, instead of a guard dog, they've got this bloody great big Bengal tiger. I managed to take out the tiger with a can of mace, but the shopkeeper and his son... that's a different story altogether. I had to beat them to death with their own shoes. Nasty business, really, but sure enough I got the M&Ms, and Ozzy went on stage that night...

Waynes World 2 (1993)

... So now you know where the "shoes" bit has always come from. For the record, I am most definitely twisted, but not *that* twisted ... most of the time ;)

Hump a Tree

CarrotI have no excuse for my lack of posting this week. No slight was intended, oh loyal fans of the VIOH. Slackerness, thy name is Carrot. It's not that I have nothing to share this week, oh no, never that. It may be that one of my multiple personalities (the one in charge of the anger management department) went AWOL and I've spent this week beating people to death with their own shoes. It may be that a serious vacation was needed for the part of my brain that maintains the will to live. Either way, please accept my most sincere apologies and now . . . go hump a tree :)

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