Carrot's Movie Quote Hall of Fame
George Downes: Maybe there won't be marriage, maybe there won't be sex, but by God there will be dancing!
— My Best Friend's Wedding (1997)
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Carrot Loves Weird Al moment #19
Sometimes in private, I really like to dress up like Shirley Temple and spank myself with a hockey stick (hockey stick)
— Confessions Part III Weird Al
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Carrot's Movie Quote Hall of Fame
[Ralphie is seeing Santa, only he can't remember what he wanted]
Santa Claus: How about a nice football?
Ralphie as Adult: Football? Football? What's a football? With unconscious will my voice squeaked out "football".
Santa Claus: Okay, get him out of here.
Ralphie as Adult: A football? Oh no, what was I doing? Wake up, Stupid! Wake up!
Ralphie: [Is shoved down the slide, but he stops himself and climbs back up]
No! No! I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!
Santa Claus: You'll shoot your eye out, kid.
— A Christmas Story (1983)
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Just One of Those Days
So, this is how it has been for the last few weeks, being sick, having too much work to do, and delivering babies. I feel like this guy, and I have to get over it, cause Christmas is coming, and I want Jesus to have the best bdidders EVER!
Back by special request
Not quite an asstat, but a darned good one anyways. This munk's fer yew, Munners.
Monday, December 18, 2006
My personality: Crazy Squirrel
I have a hard time fitting in with the plastics at high school because I am just too nutty. I couldn’t stop stealing their acorns if I tried. Crazy as can be, the only way to survive is to stuff my cheeks full and wait for the winter.
Friday, December 15, 2006
Friday, December 08, 2006
My personality: Not So Mean
I have a hard time fitting in with the plastics at high school because I am just too nice. I couldn’t even be mean if I tried. Sweet as can be, the best way to catch flies is with honey of course.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Carrot Loves Weird Al moment #14
Got to work late 'cause my alarm was busted
The boss chewed me out and everybody's disgusted
'Cause it's one of those days, it's just one of those days
I lost one of my socks in the drier
I can't find my wallet and my hair is on fire
Just one of those days, it's just one of those days
I just wrapped my Cadillac around a tree
A big swarm of locusts is following me
There's not even anything good on TV
It's just one of those days, it's just one of those days
Left all my Beatles records out in the sun
Got a Coke bottle stuck on the end of my tongue
It's just one of those days, gonna be one of those days
The nazis tied me up and covered me with ants
And I spilled toxic waste on my brand new pants
Just one of those days, ever have one of those days
The bank called me up and told me I'm overdrawn
Some freaks are burnin' crosses out on my front lawn
And I can't believe it, all the Cheetos are gone
It's just, just one of those, one of those days
Just one of those, one of those days
The F.B.I. has got a tap on my phone
Those darn Russian spies won't leave me alone
Shouldn't have got up this morning, should've known
It's just one of those days, it's just one of those days
A 747 crashed into my den
And there's nothin' but tater-tots for dinner again
It's just one of those days
Never mind, it's just one of those days
Big steamroller just ran over my mom
And I cut myself shaving and they're dropping the bomb
It's just one of those days
That's all, it's just one of those days
Then late at night, just before I go to bed
The world blows up and now everybody's dead
You just can't deny it, it's just like I said
Just, just one of those, one of those days
Just one of those, one of those days
It's just one of those days (just one of those, one of those days)
It's just one of those days (just one of those, one of those days)
It's just one of those days (just one of those, one of those days)
It's just one of those days (just one of those, one of those days)
It's just one of those days (just one of those, one of those days)
It's just one of those days (just one of those, one of those days)
It's just one of those days (just one of those, one of those days)
It's just one of those days
— Weird Al "Just One of Those Days"
Monday, December 04, 2006
Word of the day...
| 1. | Fry Tax | |
When buying fast food for a friend who has no money, it's the the process of taxing your friend by taking a small percentage of their fries as a payment "Russell fry taxed Pierre after their trip to McDonald's and took half of his fries!" www.urbandictionary.com | ||
Friday, December 01, 2006
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Carrot's Movie Quote Hall of Fame
Eddie: Naw, I'm doing just fine, Clark.
— Christmas Vacation (1989)
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Monday, November 27, 2006
Thursday, November 16, 2006
ODE to the Unimind...
Memmmmmmories,
Like the corrrrrrrnnners of my mind
Misty water-colored memmmmmmories
Of the way we were...
(sniffle)
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Oh Hoff, how we have missed you...
From the official David Hasselfhoff House of Pancakes...
...er, Site Of Worship. Yeah.
...er, Site Of Worship. Yeah.
Carrot Loves Weird Al moment #102
Ooh, my little hungry one, hungry one
Open up a package of my bologna
Ooh, I think the toast is done, the toast is done
Top it with a little of my bologna
Never gonna stop, eat it up
Such a tasty snack I always eat too much, then throw up
But I'll soon be back for my, my, my, yi, yi, woo
M-m-m-my bologna
Spreadin' on the mustard now, show me how
Spread it on a litle of this bologna
Hopin' that we don't run out, don't run out
If we do I'm sure that I'll miss bologna
Never gonna stop, eat it up
Such a tasty snack I always eat too much, then throw up
But I'll soon be back for my, my, my, yi, yi, woo
M-m-m-my bologna
M-m-m-my bologna
[belch]
Goin' to the market now, market now
I'm the city's biggest bologna buyer
Walkin' down the shopping isles, shopping isles
Filling up my basket with Oscar Meyer
Never gonna stop, eat it up
Such a tasty snack I always eat too much, then throw up
But I'll soon be back for my, my, my, yi, yi, woo
M-m-m-m-m-m-m-my, my, my, yi, yi, woo
M-m-m-my bologna
M-m-m-my bologna
M-m-m-my bologna
M-m-m-my bologna
— Weird Al, "My Bologna"
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
A Visual Aid For Those Who Hold the Hearts of My Nearest and Dearest
Just so we're all on the same page...
what will happen if you break their hearts
*includes husbands
Friday, November 10, 2006
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Carrot's Movie Quote Hall of Fame
[as they are dangling from under the road way, after Left Ear's gotten all the explosives in place, and is about to insert the detonater]
Left Ear: Just give me a minute.
Charlie Croker: [impatiently] NOW?
Left Ear: I'm about to insert this detonator tube, and if the brass touches the sides, you and I will be the last people each of us will see.
Charlie Croker: Take all the time you need.
Left Ear: [after a pause] Hey, Charlie?
Charlie Croker: What?
Left Ear: I love you, man.
Charlie Croker: I love you too.
— The Italian Job (2003)
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
For Brindy
Hadn't heard from Brindy in a while so thought I would send her something I thought was funny, although I am not sure it fits anything. Just figured out how to You Tube and picked the first thing I could find.
Monday, November 06, 2006
Weird Al is my hero
Listen to this delicious parody of James "The-Bane-of-my-music-listening-experience" Blunt by the one and only Weird Al here.
From NPR.org:
- According to Yankovic, Blunt himself gave his blessing to a song called "You're Pitiful", which was to appear on Yankovic's now-finished but as-yet-unreleased new album. But after Yankovic finished recording the parody, Atlantic Records, Blunt's label, told Yankovic that he couldn't release "You're Pitiful." Though Yankovic has encountered resistance from artists before -- after a miscommunication involving permissions, Coolio publicly objected to a released parody of "Gangsta's Paradise," while Prince has always turned down Yankovic's requests to parody his hits -- he says this is the first time a label has stepped in to squash the release of one of his parodies. (Quoth an Atlantic representative: "We have no comment on this matter.")
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Munny Hunny!!!
Thank you for calling Walmart Tire Lube Express, where we sell tires for less. This is G-Munny Unit Honey Babe fo-Sho! How MAY I help you?
Monday, October 30, 2006
To Whomever Decides Which Flights to Cancel at DIA
Me and you. (Pssst...I'm not the bird)
Thanks for the lovely 24 hours last Wednesday/Thursday...
Thanks for the lovely 24 hours last Wednesday/Thursday...
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Munny Signs off from HQ
I shall be gone from the original headquarters, but I shall try to post as much as possible from my new top secret lair. LIVE LONG AND PROSPER V.I.O.H!!!
Friday, October 20, 2006
Fun Factoid
There are more dogs in the United States than there are people in the United Kingdom. There are more cats in the United States than there are people in France.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Audio visual Effexts for moment WA #488
"Weird Al" Yankovic's music video from his new album "Straight Outta Lynwood"
Carrot Loves Weird Al moment #488
They see me mowin'
My front lawn
I know they're all thinking
I'm so White N' nerdy
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Can't you see I'm white n' nerdy
Look at me I'm white n' nerdy!
I wanna roll with-
The gangsters
But so far they all think
I'm too white n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
I'm just too white n' nerdy
Really really white n' thirty
First in my class here at M.I.T.
Jock skills I'm a champion of D&D
MC Escher that's my favorite MC
Keep your 40, I'll just have an Earl Grey tea
My rims never spin to the contrary
You'll find they're quite stationary
All of my action figures are cherry
Stephen Hawking's in my library
My MySpace page is all totally pimped out
I got people begging for my top 8 spaces
Yo I know Pi to a thousand places
Ain't got no grills but I still wear braces
I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise
I'm a whiz at minesweeper I can play for days
Once you see my sweet moves you're gonna stay amazed
my fingers movin' so fast I'll set the place ablaze
There's no killer app I haven't run
At Pascal, well, I'm number one
I do vector calculus just for fun
I ain't got a gat but I got a soldering gun
Happy Days is my favorite theme song
I can sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong
I'll ace any trivia quiz you bring on
I'm fluent in Java Script as well as Klingon
They see me roll on, my Segway!
I know in my heart they think I'm
white n' nerdy!
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Can't you see I'm white n' nerdy
Look at me I'm white n' nerdy
I'd like to roll with-
The gangsters
Although it's apparent I'm too
White n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
I'm just too white n' nerdy
How'd I get so white n' nerdy?
I've been browsing, inspectin'
X-men comics you know I collect 'em
The pens in my pocket I must protect 'em
My ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored
Shopping online for deals on some writable media
I edit Wikipedia
I memorized the Holy Grail
Really well
I can recite it right now and have you ROTFLOL
I got a business doing websites
When my friends need some code who do they call?
I do HTML do for them all
Even make a homepage for my dog!
Yo I got myself a fanny pack
they were having a sale at the GAP
Spend my nights with a roll of bubble wrap
POP POP! Hope no one sees me get freaky!
I'm nerdy in the extreme and whiter than sour cream
I was in AV club and Glee club and even the chess team!
Only question I ever thought was hard
Was do I like Kirk or do I like Picard?
I spend every weekend at the Renaissance Faire
Got my name on my underwear!
They see me strollin'
They laughin'
And rollin' their eyes 'cause
I'm so white n' nerdy
Just because I'm white n' nerdy
Just because I'm white n' nerdy
All because I'm white n' nerdy
Holy cow I'm white n' nerdy
I wanna bowl with-
the gangsters
but oh well it's obvious I'm
white n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
I'm just too white n' nerdy
Look at me I'm white n' nerdy!
— Weird Al, "White & Nerdy"
Carrot's Movie Quote Hall of Fame
Tricia Jones: When are men going to realize that women want ROMANCE, not Mr. Toad's Wild Ride...
Brodie: Hey, now, be fair. *EVERYONE* wants Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.
— Mall Rats (1995)
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Baby Animal du Jour in honor of Munny
Baby platypus is called a "puggle", which is my original pet name for my little Brodster. What is cuter than puggle, I ask you?
Monday, October 16, 2006
Friday, October 13, 2006
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Quarterly State of the Blog Meeting
Will include (but is not limited to)...
Pitcher(s) of Peach Bellini
Frozen peach nectar, white wine, champagne, and rum, swirled with our Italian Sangria
Italian Nachos
Crispy pasta chips baked with ground Italian sausage and/or grilled sliced chicken, pepperoncini peppers, black olives, roma tomatoes, and jalapenos. Topped with melted mozzarella, parmesan, and creamy alfredo sauce
Turtle Cheesecake
Thick layers of creamy cheesecake and rich fudge on a graham cracker crust, topped with caramel, pecans, and chocolate chips
And last but not least...
TITO!!!!!!
(and that's just to start...)
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