TGI friggin F
Heres to missing my vacation and coming in on Saturday. Better buy me lunch Gizzle!
Friday, September 29, 2006
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Carrot Loves Weird Al moment #91
Use my razor to shave your legs
Eat crackers in bed
Stomp the poodle 'til it's flat
You can even shove a six-inch railroad spike through my head
I can learn to live with that
But now I'm begging you down on my bended knees
Oh, honey, please, don't wear those shoes
You can whip me, beat me, rob me blind
Baby, I don't mind, but please don't wear those... Shoooooes
— From Don't Wear Those Shoes Weird Al
Me nah, you NAH
Sometimes you're the big hairy, and sometimes you're just the one running for your life...
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Happy Birthday, Munny!
This is totally us ... if Brindy and I were angsty pre-pubescent delinquents ... and your name was Jolene. Oh well, it works. Happy 24th, sucka. We love ya!
Friday, September 22, 2006
Babies eating babies
So, I Googed 'disgusting' just to find something to post right quick. While this pic is not the most disturbing of all the images, it really sicks me out for so many reasons. One of the first being the illustration. I will leave the picture to speak for itself for the rest. Anyone feeding babies meat should be forced to ingest this crap through a straw themselves. Get reals folks. and shame on you Gerb.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
ASSUM REVISIT: The Ultimate Showdown
I am still ever so grateful to Brindy for finding this loverly gem of hi-lariousness...
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Carrot's Movie Quote Hall of Fame
O-Ren Ishii: [after she cuts off Tanaka's head, in Japanese] So you all will know the seriousness of my warning, I shall say this in English.
O-Ren Ishii: [in English] As your leader, I encourage you from time to time, and always in a respectful manner, to question my logic. If you're unconvinced that a particular plan of action I've decided is the wisest, tell me so, but allow me to convince you and I promise you right here and now, no subject will ever be taboo. Except, of course, the subject that was just under discussion. The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is... I collect your fucking head. Just like this fucker here. Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, NOW'S THE FUCKING TIME!
O-Ren Ishii: I didn't think so.
O-Ren Ishii: [calmly, in Japanese] Gentlemen, this meeting is adjourned.
— Kill Bill: Vol.1 (2003)
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Just a funny, they're talking about ants
Employee #1: I noticed there were a few just walking around by themselves on my desk.
Employee #2: Those are scouts! Kill them or they'll go back and tell the others the coast is clear, then you'll have a rope of them!
Employee #1: I know, so I tried breaking the legs on one of them hoping he'd go back and tell the others not to come, it's not safe, but all he did was walk around in circles on my desk, so I just smashed him.
The Poop Name List
The Beer Poopie - The end result of too many beers. What you get is a sinister, lengthy, noisy poopie accompanied by a malevolent fog that could close a bathroom for days.
The Chili Poopie - Hot when it goes in, and rocket fuel when it leaves. The chili poopie stays with you all day, making your tush feel like a heat shield.
The Proctologist Poopie - You run out of gas, you run out of propulsion. The poopie is right there at the end of your barrel. You pretend you're a proctologist and go after it yourself.
Ghost Poopie
The kind where you feel the Poopie come out, but there's no poopie in the toilet.
Second Wave Poopie
The kind that happens when you're done poopie-ing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize you have to poopie some more.
Turtle Poopie
The kind of poopie that pops out a little and goes back in a few times before it finallly comes out.
Lincoln Log Poopie
The kind of Poopie that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the plunger.
Corn Poopie
(Self explanatory)
Spinal Tap Poopie
That's the kind when it hurts so badly coming out, you swear it was leaving you sideways.
Wet Cheeks Poopie
The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt cheeks get spashed with water.
Liquid Poopie
The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots you of your butt and spashes all over the toilet bowl.
The Suprise Poopie
You are not even at the toilet, because you are sure you are about to fart, but, OOPS---a Poopie!
The Dangling Poopie
This Poopie refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done poopie-ing. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.
Carrot's Top Ten — Revised
Subject to change at whim...
Munny's Top Ten Revisited
Brinder's Top 10 Hot Sexy Beeches List (for the reals)
Subject to change at whim...
Monday, September 18, 2006
Friday, September 15, 2006
Munny's not-so-much-a-celebrity quote
Federline, Yo
“I think people need to get to know me a little bit more, and that way when we do something, people will respect it that much more.”
Carrot Loves Weird Al moment #621
Put down your chainsaw and listen to me
It's time for us to join in the fight
It's time to let your babies grow up to be cowboys
It's time to let the bedbugs bite
You better put all your eggs in one basket
You better count your chickens before they hatch
You better sell some wine before it's time
You better find yourself an itch to scratch
You better squeeze all the Charmin you can while Mr. Wimpole's not around
Stick your head in the microwave and get yourself a tan
Talk with your mouth full
Bite the hand that feeds you
Bite off more than you chew
What can you do
Dare to be stupid
— Weird Al Yankovic, "Dare to be Stupid"
New album drops September 26th (Happy Birthday, Munny!)
Word of the day...
| 1. | pluto | |
Verb. to pluto someone or something is to downgrade, demote or remove altogether from a prestigious group or list, Like what was done to the planet of the same name. "he was plutoed like an old pair of shoes." www.urbandictionary.com | ||
Carrot's New World Order
In the new world order, intelligent swoon-worthy men will approach women on the street with a personality/life resumé, a written essay on who they are and what they stand for and a completed "boyfriend/husband" application. The woman can then eliminate potential losers based on the paperwork and offer the role of boyfriend/husband to the most worthy candidate. It would simplify so many things...
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Lyrics Stuck in Munny's Brainfried Head
Woh oh
I want a new duck
One that wont try to bite
One that wont chew a hole in my socks
One that wont quack all night
I want a new duck
One with big webbed feet
One that knows how to wash my car
And keep his room real neat
One that wont raid the ice box
One thatll stay in shape
One thats never gonna try to migrate or escape
Or Ill tie him up with duck tape
I want a new duck
A mallard I think
One that wont make a mess of my house
Or build a nest in the bathroom sink
I want a new duck
One that wont steal my beer
One that wont stick his bill in my mail
One that knows the duck stops here
One that wont drive me crazy waddling all around
One wholl teach me how to swim and help me not to drown
And show me how to get down
How to get down baby
Get it?
I want a new duck
Not a swan or a goose
Just a drake I can dress real cute
Think Im gonna name him bruce
I want a new duck
Not a quail or an owl
One that wont molt to much
One that wont smell too fowl
One that wont beg for breadcrumbs
Hangin around all day
Hed better mind his manners
Better do just what I say
Or hes gonna be duck patte, duck patte, yah, yah
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
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