Tuesday, September 19, 2006

The Poop Name List

The Beer Poopie - The end result of too many beers. What you get is a sinister, lengthy, noisy poopie accompanied by a malevolent fog that could close a bathroom for days.

The Chili Poopie - Hot when it goes in, and rocket fuel when it leaves. The chili poopie stays with you all day, making your tush feel like a heat shield.

The Proctologist Poopie - You run out of gas, you run out of propulsion. The poopie is right there at the end of your barrel. You pretend you're a proctologist and go after it yourself.

Ghost Poopie
The kind where you feel the Poopie come out, but there's no poopie in the toilet.

Second Wave Poopie
The kind that happens when you're done poopie-ing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize you have to poopie some more.

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Turtle Poopie
The kind of poopie that pops out a little and goes back in a few times before it finallly comes out.

Lincoln Log Poopie
The kind of Poopie that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the plunger.

Corn Poopie
(Self explanatory)

Spinal Tap Poopie
That's the kind when it hurts so badly coming out, you swear it was leaving you sideways.

Wet Cheeks Poopie
The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt cheeks get spashed with water.

Liquid Poopie
The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots you of your butt and spashes all over the toilet bowl.

The Suprise Poopie
You are not even at the toilet, because you are sure you are about to fart, but, OOPS---a Poopie!

The Dangling Poopie
This Poopie refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done poopie-ing. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.


Brindy said...

Suprise Poopie is also know as a shart, which is one of my favorite things to say. And, I was unfortunate enough to experience it recently, during my two week spell with the Liquid Poopie running my life. Praise the sweet Lawd the savage diarrheafest seems to have concluded. If this post was inspired by the event, thank you very much for acknowledging the agonizing experience.

Cheers to each trip to the pot being much more memorable than the last! Just don't bring snacks or we can't be friends anymore!

Your Mom said...

So, we are not having any more poopy weeks, I take it?!

Carrot said...

Second Wave Poopie is the worst... especially when you're in a hurry.

smile2nv said...

That is too funny...we are here at work laughing our arshes off....thanks