Thursday, April 26, 2007

Bring It

Well, as the Metal Monkey, I have hurt myself pretty good approximately every two weeks since the beginning of the year. I recently looked up my Chinese horoscope and it explained it all to me:
Monkey Health
"It is in this area where you could have the most problems this year. You are susceptible to illness and especially accidents. The combination of Fire and Metal is conducive to injuries."
So, I thought I would give a rundown of the injuries in order.
1. Big ol scrape from Z's deep dark basement when we came back from the Carino wedding all sauced up and I had to help him down the stairs.
2. Steam burn on my wrist from cooking broccoli, it left my skin looking like an aligator's for about a month.
3. I stumbled on the long walk home from a night of dice and debauchery and hurt my ankle REAL BAD. Prolly should have gone to the doc, but I just walked like an old lady for a month or so.
4. Tripped on the living room rug and slammed my head on a table, got a nice bruise on my arm.
5. Slipped on the floor at the fake Sublime concert at the 'Yard and my knee got hurt from my leg bending the wrong way. Now, I can barely walk at all.
6. Tripped on the living room rug again got some rug burns on my knees. AND... I have bruises all over my legs and arms that I have no recollection of acquiring.
7. Slipped in the shower and fell backwards, landed in between the tub and the stool, should have a nice bruise on my back, haven't had a chance to look yet.
So, if this is what has happened thus far, what is in store for the remainder of the year? Just something I have pondered recently as I poke and squish the blue, green, purple and yellow spots on my appendages. Stoopid Fire Pig!!


Munny said...

Wow, I don't keep track of all my debacles, but I am not sure if I could even compare to your Metal Monkeyness. I'd be close though, ask my toes

Carrot said...

Whoa... those of you who knows the Carrot... check this out