Thursday, July 13, 2006

More of that Sweet Hoff...

Crop circles are David's way of telling the world that sometimes
corn just needs to lie the f**k down. 

David Hasselhoff is the reason why Waldo is hiding. 

If you were to lock David Hasselhoff in a room with a guitar, a
year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the
Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this David replied "Because
Grammy's are for queers." 

When David Hasselhoff drinks pee, his asparagus smells funny. 

In fine print at on the last page of the Guinness Book of World
Records it notes that all world records are held by David Hasselhoff,
and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever
come to matching him. 

David Hasselhoff has two speeds: walk and kill. 

David Hasselhoff can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At
night. 

David Hasselhoff is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a
game of tennis. 

When David Hasselhoff jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get
wet. The water gets David instead. 

Whenever David Hasselhoff puts out a cigarette, he throws it in
slow motion into a long line of gasoline and calmly walks away as an
inferno erupts behind him. 

David Hasselhoff haunts Freddy Krueger's nightmares. 

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